The Word is My Life

When I feel weak, the word of God gives strength to me.  When I feel like a failure, the word of God tells me that I’m an over-comer. When I feel lost, the word of God tells me that God knows where I am.  When I feel afraid, the word of God replaces my fear with faith.  When I am feeling overwhelmed, the word of God leads me to the steal waters where my soul is restored.  God’s word is my life!

To know where I’ve come from, and where God has me right now is a pretty awesome story, yet I have many more miles to travel, lost of mountains to climb, and valley’s to walk through.  As the old song says,

He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He’s still working on me.

There really ought to be a sign upon the heart,
Don’t judge her yet, there’s an unfinished part.
But I’ll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master’s loving hands.

In the mirror of His Word reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He’s the Potter, I’m the clay.

     When I am reminded of my past, I run to the word, which are the promises of God that I am not under the condemnation of my past.  I am no longer that lost and abused girl I was then, I am the restored daughter of the King of Kings, and Lord of Lord’s!  I am His, and He is mine.  By eating the word of God, I am taking in the power to use the sword against the enemy when He starts attacking me with my past.  I take every thought captive… over and over… knowing that God’s word is alive and powerful inside of me.

     I love God’s word, as I’ve been watching it transforming my life, my heart and my mind every single day.  I love his word, not because I am forced to as a Christian but because I want to be complete in Him, restored by Him, and then able to help others find their way to the life of His word as well…

   My thought for today is:  THE WORD OF GOD IS MY LIFE !!!!!!

WHEN THE LAST LIFEBOAT IS GONE

I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for my son to come out of his high school, and as I was scanning the crowd of young people, God began taking my mind on another journey.  I saw these young adults on the deck of the titanic, the last lifeboat was filling, and they were not concerned with what was to come.   Any moment the already sinking ship would begin to lean, break and plummet into the ocean and the choices they made would be now be eternal.  They have no idea that the laughter, hugs, and carefree life they now are living is only a mere vapor in the eyes of God.  The day I married my husband was just yesterday, as we held hands in the hallway of Toledo’s city hall, promising to love each other for the rest of our lives, only yesterday but over 20 years have passed.  How fast the pages of our lives turn, one page after another, every choice a major part of who we become.

The morning of April 14th as the titanic was gliding along in grand splendor, people were unaware that in just hours the end of their lives would come.  They filled the lifeboats one by one, until there were no more.  God has been filling lifeboats for thousands of years, but one day the last one will be filled…… will you be in one of them?  Will you have made the choice to be in the refuge of God’s salvation, or will you be plummeted into outer darkness… the choice is yours to make!

~Angie

IT’S NOT OKAY

Oh how I wish I could yell at the top of my lungs, where all of the young people in the world could hear!  I know that to most of them I would be just another adult trying to stop them from living their lives in their own freedom.  If one young ear would hear, and one young heart would receive avoiding a shattered heart it would be so worth it all.  So here I am writing from my heart about something that is so important it makes me ache inside.

It’s not okay to be with someone that makes you anything less than who you are!  It’s not okay to be lied to, cheated on and abused both physically and mentally.  It’s not okay even if they’ve done it, then come back promising they will change.  Change doesn’t come any way but through God.  If they are not in love with Jesus, living by his standards, then they WILL NOT change.

It’s not okay to be with someone who doesn’t live their life for Christ.  They will pull you away from him!  If you believe you can change them, YOU CAN’T….. ONLY GOD CAN!  Set your standards HIGH because you are precious to God and if you truly understand that, then you will allow Him to send you the right one.   As the word of God states, he is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all you ask or think possible.  So if you set your standards High, asking him for someone that will be a perfect balance in your life, He will do exceeding and abundantly more … sending you the one He has envisioned for you from the time you were formed in your mother’s womb.

Tell yourself that it’s not okay to be anything less than what God wants you to be, and it’s not okay to be with anyone who doesn’t feel the same!

~Angie

I WILL REST

I run to the place where I can be with you, I have waited all day long to sit quietly in your presence.  I want to tell you all that is in my heart, allowing you to share your heart with me.  Oh how I have had a longing to be near you.  Oh Lord my heart!

The minutes of the day have seemed so long, as the people around me have no clue as to how my heart is longing for just a few quiet moments just you and I alone.  I love your touch more than the very breath of air that fills my lungs.  I crave your embrace as the very essence of life itself.  Oh Lord, my heart…

I search for words to write you a love song, but every word in the human vocabulary isn’t beautiful enough to truly tell how beautiful you are.  So all I can do is tell you how much I adore you.  I adore everything about you!   Tonight as this day is over and the night is approaching in your love I will rest !!!

~with all of my love~   ~Angie~

A DREAM IS MY VISION

I had this amazing dream since God has been restoring me!  It is ALREADY COMING TO PASS! It’s so amazing how God works!  After having such a spiritual dream one of which told of a new place God is taking me, I have been so famished for the word of God.  I’ve not been able to stop absorbing the words, meditating on each passage and allowing God to take me on the most amazing journey!  Everything around me has spoken confirmation of the direction God is taking me!  HE NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME!

When I came home this afternoon and turned on the television, the message was ALONG THE LINES OF WHAT GOD IS TEACHING ME…. Then when I went to watch it again on the website of the minister, it wasn’t even today’s message and I couldn’t find it anywhere, it was as if God had it just for me!  I can’t help but weep as he takes me on this amazing new journey!  The winter season is past, and I’m walking in a new spring season of refreshing, rebirth and renewal! How can living for God be anything but AWESOME?!?!

I won’t tell the whole dream, but at one part of the dream this minister I know and admire wanted me to come upstairs in my friends house.  When I came up the stairs I noticed that I’d just gotten out of the shower and my hair was so wet that it was dripping water.  I took my hands and was running them through my wet hair.  The minster Grabbed me and began to pray over me in the Spirit.  I could hear God saying something to me, and THEN, something SO GREAT WAS IMPARTED from her Spirit into mine.  We stood holding each other, and something was flowing from her spirit into mine that was so strong and powerful I almost fell to my knees but her strong hold on me held me up!  I woke up and knew … God HAS GREAT THINGS AHEAD…  Then I started becoming more famished for the word, and I can’t get enough of his presence!  I’m so amazed at what he is doing! I love him so much!  This is such an amazing journey!

~Angie

 

His Love.. My Rock!

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book of psalms

What a week it has been!  I have wanted to sit down and write every night this week, but finding the time between being wife, mom, learning fiddle and spiritual growth is a full time job!  This week I’ve spent my reading time in the book of Psalms.  After coming out of the storm I have witnessed God’s love like I have never known it before.  I’ve always known in my heart that he loved me, yet the walls that were built from the pain of insecurity had always kept God’s love for me from reaching my inner core.  If I tried to explain to you what transpired over the past few weeks I couldn’t find the words to express the depth of it all.  I had so much brokenness restored, hurt healed, and insecurity removed.  God has been showing me how by covering myself in Him the rest of it all is just rubbish.  I am learning so much just being close to him.  When people are bitter, and snap at me for reasons I don’t deserve, before I’d be so hurt from the root of rejection.  Now I find his arms around me, reassuring me that it’s okay because his love is what matters most!

See my story started a very long time ago.  I was born with a purpose (I don’t say that arrogantly at all just with knowledge in what God has for my life) and I knew that from a very early age God had great things for my life planned.  When I was just a little girl I knew God wanted to use me.  I don’t remember what age I was when the enemy approached me the first time, but I remember it well.  I was lying on the couch inside of our front living room napping, when a voice spoke to me.  He told me he’d give me anything I desired if I would deny the Lord.  I am so grateful for the Grandmother I have, because she’d taught me how to cause him to flee.  I rebuked him in the powerful name of Jesus and he left me that day, but he never stopped trying to destroy my purpose.  See when God has a purpose Satan always has a plan, and he has been working his plan in my life for a very very long time.

We moved to Michigan from Tennessee and the children were horribly cruel.  They’d make fun of me for being Southern, and always ostracize me.  I remember so many days I’d come home from school, fall onto the couch and cry from rejection, what a huge root it caused.  We had this rock in the corner of our yard and I’d run out there, kneel at that rock and cry out to God.  I met with God there so many times during those early years.  He’s always been that rock I could run to.  That rock I could cling to!  I cannot look back and tell you that I was ever truly happy living in Michigan, but God gave me my greatest blessings to bring with me when I came back home.  I married my husband who ironically is named “Peter” which means “The Rock.”  I had my daughter Emily and my son Tyler, who when I named him I never realized his name means “stone maker.”   God has shown me many times that he is the rock in my life.

I experienced many things during those years in Michigan that could have defeated me, yet my love for the Rock, and his love for me, kept me moving forward.  I’ve always loved Jesus with my whole heart, even when it was broken.  I have always loved Him.  It seems that the night season I just came through was the longest and hardest of my life.  God’s mighty hand and deep love for me reached into that dark valley and brought me out with a new revelation of who he is.  I felt him pluck the root of rejection out of my heart, restore my broken heart, and renew my mind.  Now I am walking toward my purpose, but not alone.  I have the hand that created it all with his fingers laced through mine!  I thought I knew his love, but I never knew it like I do now.  I never new anything so beautiful !!

TO BE RESTORED

I know it has been too long between blog entries, but I have had so much going on in my life that I found it most difficult to find the words to express my trial.  The ones closest to me know the depth of the battle with depression and anxiety I have been fighting that manifested it’s ugly face when my son had to go to the hospital this past May on suicide watch.  This has been a long hard road for me to travel, yet I have seen the hand of God like I’ve never seen it before, and for this I am thankful for each step I had to take in this trial.  About two weeks ago I completely broke down, so badly my husband had no idea what to do.  He was lost and so was I.  This is the only way I can explain it.  I woke up at 2:00 a.m. holding him so tightly with tears soaking his back, begging him to help me.  He done the best thing he could have ever done, he pointed me to Jesus!  I had this vision of myself locked in a room all alone; the walls were all dingy and gray.  I sat curled on a dirty wood planked floor in a fetal position broken and alone.  I heard the key turn in the door, and the lock grip firmly in place, knowing there was no way out.  OH BUT WAIT !!!!  In the wee hours of the morning I have a 70 year old grandmother who is on her knees pleading the blood of Jesus over me, who calls out my name in prayer, and prays a hedge of protection over me.  Something inside of me began to rise up… I decided to fight.  On the way to sing with my brothers and sisters the next day I confessed it all.  I told them of the battle I’d been fighting, and they began to rally around me.  The next morning at church I confessed it to my church family, they too began to rally around me!   I emailed powerful prayer warriors and they rallied around me.  Something AMAZING HAPPENED!  My pastor anointed my head with oil the morning I confessed and for a whole week God began chipping away at the wall the enemy had built around my mind.  The next weekend at church in the morning service I put on the garment of praise!  I sat there in my seat weeping and trembling before the Lord!   He again brought this vision I’d had in the deepest and darkest place to remembrance.  I saw myself in this dark and dingy room isolated and alone.  Something had changed since I’d saw myself in there.  I heard the click of the lock, the door opened and guess what the enemy found when he looked in?  I was being cradled in the arms of Jesus!  I wasn’t in that room alone and longer.   I was still in the fetal position but in the lap of Jesus with his arms tightly around me, and he was rocking me, and I was sobbing and crying, and sobbing and crying.  Letting him have the pain of watching my son lying in that bed in that cold hospital room with fear in his eyes, yet so broken he’d wanted to die.  I gave to Jesus the pain of holding my son while he was sobbing before they told me to let him go to that hospital where we could not see him for 5 days, only 15 minute calls in the afternoon.  I let Jesus have the fear I’d experienced when as a mother I had no idea what they were doing to my son, I had to scream out for God to please be with him to protect him!!  The fear of if he’d ever be the same, and would he come through this alive?  I SOBBED IN BROKENNESS…. I saturated Jesus with the tears of my pain as they left the depth of my very soul, and he took them from me and held me in his amazing arms all the while.  I cried for years of watching my mother locked away in that same dark dingy room with the lock firmly in place.  During the time of adolescence when I needed her the most she was locked in that dark room!  Knowing at one time she attempted to take her life, but the same God that was holding me knocked the razor out of her hand.  The same God that was holding me took his hand and lifted her heart out of her chest and flipped it over and delivered my mother of the same dark evil depression that was trying to steal my son’s life and my own.  I SOBBED!!!!!!!

The night service came and God COMPLETELY restored me.  My sister in Christ came over to me and placed her hand over my heart and a peace that surpasses all understanding rushed like a river through my entire body.  Then I was in his arms again and he was holding me… this time restoring me….  I was like David and I danced with joy of what God had done for me.  I danced from the joy of knowing who He is to me.  I danced because I love him so much!!!!!   To be restored in Jesus is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life!

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A Miracle

When the Curtains Close

I had a very difficult weekend that I will not go into detail as to what all transpired, I will just tell you that I found something more precious than anything I could ever find outside the loving arms of my Jesus.  What I found was his arms open just waiting for me to run into them allowing Him to hold me and show me that nothing else matters but who and what he is in my life.  I adore Him!