I Knew It Would Not Be Easy

Yesterday I sat with my guitar in my lap, strumming and singing a new song unto the Lord. I sat there thinking about the past four months of this year. This new year stared out unstable. There were so many changes that needed to be made, and I was terrified. The past few years, God has been taking me through different transitions. I’ve been stripped bare, exposing all the raw places so deep within my heart that needed healing. I’d buried so much beneath lies I told myself, how I would be okay if I just didn’t face these hurts head on. Boy was I wrong! When God began exposing those hidden hurts, it was more painful than I could ever imagine. We came through it, together Him and I. It wasn’t easy, but it was sure worth the climb.

Then in January I had to make some decisions. My health was getting worse, and in the process of taking care of everyone else around me, I had lost sight of myself. I hadn’t taken care of “Me” in a very long time. Then on Valentines Day I met a stranger in the mirror. The reflection looking back at me was someone who bore my name, but I had no idea who she was. She didn’t look like me. There was a stranger looking back at me as I stood in front of the looking glass. So, a hard journey began. I cried through every workout. I struggled to enjoy new healthy foods. I knew that it was all part of the process of becoming the “Me” God had created me to be, all the while becoming secure when I’d never been before.

True and genuine security doesn’t come in a title, or relationship. It comes in having a strong relationship with God, while allowing Him to transform you. Transformation is a process of allowing God to balance every single part of you and your life. The Mind, Body, and Soul. God had been working on my mind and soul, but I’d never allowed Him to work on the body. I thought that the flesh doesn’t matter. It does matter. Our bodies need to be strong so that we can be strong for God in walking out our purpose. So Here I am. Climbing. It’s getting easier with each new day, because I have God’s hand in mine, and I am allowing Him to change me. I can’t wait to see all that God has in view for the future.